The Unexpected Journey

This is a slightly vulnerable and in-the-moment post.

This was my first Instagram post. Back then, I was in the thick of what felt like my life falling apart before it even started. A sudden, taboo divorce had cost me every friendship I'd built up to that point. My parents were upset. The world felt impossibly small and impossibly heavy. But I had my siblings' love, a new laptop, and I just discovered Tumblr and Instagram. Back then, I'd only been to exactly five cities. I didn't know a single person who lived abroad. I don't think I had an idea back then that I would receive a scholarship to live abroad. And I wonder if it's maybe that post that inspired me to apply for the scholarship?

“It's a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don't keep your feet, there's no knowing where you might be swept off to.” – The Lord of the Rings

What moves me most about that old Instagram post isn't just how far I've traveled, but how beautifully clueless I was about what lay ahead. That version of me, typing on her new laptop, had no idea that EXACTLY thirteen years later she'd be typing this from an airport lounge (yes, because I'm a frequent flyer). I’m flying to Jeddah after a week in London. But I live in New York!

That version of me didn’t know that what happened back then was true, very heavy, but that life would get heavier. I would master the art of starting over (over and over). I’ll love and I’ll forgive. I’ll be loved. There is so much that has happened for me to be here. I’m genuinely confused how on earth I get to have this life.

I feel sometimes that I don’t deserve all that I have today. The generosity of the strangers I met in these new places is what got me here. I often felt like an unsupervised child roaming the world. People reacted to my vulnerability and naivety in many ways. Sure, a few used that to manipulate and gain power over me (they knew my buttons). But for the most part, people were the most wonderful thing. Strangers took me under their wings. Many are people with whom we are not meant to be close, such as neighbors, bosses, and yoga teachers. The poorest way to face life is to think we are above the love, help, need, and generosity of others. I've been blessed to receive plenty of it.

Susan Sontag once said, "I haven't been everywhere, but it's on my list." So I'm still in love with places I've never visited and people I've never met. But if they are anything like the strangers and places I've experienced these last thirteen years, then I can't wait!

This is a map of all the places I've been to! From 5 to 100+!

Below are some random & favorite pictures.

Slept in tiny homes, in large mansions, and in a bomb shelter (in Afghanistan)